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Thank you, Starbucks for displaying calorie signs to your delicious sconces, doughnuts, tempting coffee cakes, muffins and other sweet-tooth goodies. Thanks to you, my twice a month, adding to years of cranberry and blueberry sconce indulgences have contributed to my cellulites. Those cranberry sconces make my mouth water, once a week and before my period, is unimaginably not enough!

As recently as last month, I made the introduction to your multi-grain bagel. This bagel, when toasted, spread with butter and oozing with honey, I called lunch on the many days I sat in your shop hungry and freezing from the AC blasting from your air vents when it is below 50˚ outside. You’ve provided me with a place to sit to drink my hot, bold coffee pick of the day.

Thank you for the table against a wall where a socket is conveniently located, drawing energy from your resources so just I can stare at a blank page in my laptop. And when it gets too cold inside, even after drinking your bold coffee burning the inside of my lower lip, yet still–my lips blue, hands and feet numb, I am thankful to the glass doors and windows that allows in the heat from the sun; I at least can wiggle a toe.

Thank you for being a respite provider from home chores. I would be without a long list of at home projects had your existence been nil. Therefore, I am proud to write that most of my finished short stories I wrote in your shops. Thanks to you, my husband has a claim on reading once again.

I’ve watched the people who’ve entered your shop. I am a thief who has stolen these people’s gait, manners, trill in their speech, whisper and the way their eyes become fixed on something, perhaps recalling a memory while sipping from your post-consumer cups. Some have become background characters in my yet-to-be publish work. And when I do publish, you would demand sitting-fee from the hours I’ve spent from three, soon to be four, of your many neighborhood locations.

Please do not get me started on your seasonal flavored lattes and macchiato, frappuccino drinks. I think I may have a permanent brain freeze from your Soy Strawberry and Crème Frappuccino Blended Beverage. Yes, it is that good!

Honorable mention is the plethora of teeth-whitening paraphernalia I own littering my bathroom drawers. A teeth-whitening syringe on my counter, adds a sort of aesthetic reminder that my coffee stained teeth, must once again endure a 30+minutes soaking in chemicals with names I cannot pronounce or spell.

But really, thank you for those calorie signs. Just yesterday, I wanted to indulge on a cranberry scone—but not at 390 calories per scone, crumbs included. That multi-grain I love so much toasted, spread with butter and honey, has 320 calories. Your calorie signs have taught me to look at my weak spot bravely in the eye and say, “Subway is just around the corner”. It taught me that you are what you eat until you become a cellulite. Please don’t think I won’t indulge in your cranberry sconce again. I will. Just not this month or the next. Nevertheless, when I find myself weak and unable to withstand another low fat, low-calorie snack for another minute, I will come to you, order a cranberry scone and savor every bite.

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